***Official Joke Thread***

blacknight

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Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.
 

blacknight

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A Mexican was promised a green card if he used the colours Green, Pink, and Yellow in the same sentance.

" DAS EASY " he said
" The phone rang... green-green, green-green, so I pink it up and I say Yellow
 

blacknight

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Definition of Fawked:

When a man has a house payment, a car payment, a wife and a girlfriend and all four are a month late!
 

Accord281

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When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children of the world to be safe.












































So God killed Michael Jackson.



(received this as a text today)
 

juicebox00

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I was talking to my dad about headers on a 4cyl accord and he just goes

"Wait, why would you put headers on a 4cyl engine, that's like putting whipped cream on dog poop."

i busted out laughing because of the way he said it.
 

SykVSyx

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i was talking to my dad about headers on a 4cyl accord and he just goes

"wait, why would you put headers on a 4cyl engine, that's like putting whipped cream on dog poop."

i busted out laughing because of the way he said it.

v6 = win.
 

blacknight

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A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next
> to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
>
> The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I
> just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
>
> 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a
> special day for me.... I am celebrating'
>
> 'This is a special day for me too, I am also
> celebrating!' says the woman.
>
> 'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they
> clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you
> celebrating?'
>
> 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child
> and today my gynecologist told me that I am
> pregnant!'
>
> 'What a coincidence,' says the man.. 'I'm a chicken
> farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile,
> but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
>
> 'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your
> chickens become fertile?'
>
> 'I used a different c0ck' he replied.
>
> The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence
 
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CHID0

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What's the difference between jelly and jam?




I can't jelly my d!ck in your mom's mouth...
 
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