***Official Joke Thread***

^^

nice ones hyung!

LMAO

Those were awesome....

those sound alot like the mexican-henglish ones i got XD

this is some funny stuff......

A Mexican was promised a green card if he used the colors Green, Pink, and Yellow in the same sentence.

" DAS EASY " he said
" The phone rang... green-green, green-green, so I pink it up and I say Yellow

FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER.
8 years old.
Hateful little bastard.
Bites!

FREE PUPPIES.
1/2 Cocker Spaniel,
1/2 sneaky neighbour's dog.

FREE PUPPIES.
Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd.
Father is a Super Dog, able to leap tall fences in a single bound.

COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED.
Also 1 *** bull for sale.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY!
Must sell washer and dryer £100.

WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE .
Worn once by mistake.
Call Stephanie.

**** And the WINNER is... ****

FOR SALE BY OWNER.
Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, £200 or best offer.
No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything

GENERAL PUBLIC NOTICE:

Please be advised I am sick to death of receiving questions about my dog who mauled
3 Muslims sitting on a rug next to my back wall, 6 illegal’s wearing Obama t-shirts,
4 stupid Democrats wearing Pelosi T-shirts,
2 rappers,
5 phone operators who asked me to press #1 for English,
9 teenagers with their pants hanging down past their cracks,
8 Customer Service Desk people speaking in broken English,
10 flag burners,
and a Pakistani taxi driver.



FOR THE LAST TIME...

THE DOG IS NOT FOR SALE ! ! !

A guy is reading his paper when his wife walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head with a frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She says, "I found a piece of paper in your pocket with 'Betty Sue' written on it."
He says, "Jeez, honey, remember last week when I went to the track? 'Betty Sue' was the name of the horse I went there to bet on." She shrugs and walks away. Three days later he's reading his paper when she walks up behind him and smacks him on the back of the head again with the frying pan.
He asks, "What was that for?"
She answers, "Your horse called

THE BLONDE AND THE PORCH


A young blonde girl in her late teens, wanting to earn some extra money for
the summer, decided to hire herself out as a "handy woman" and started
canvassing a nearby well-to-do neighborhood.
She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had
any odd jobs for her to do.
"Well, I guess I could use somebody to paint the porch" he said. "How much
will you charge me?"
Delighted, the girl quickly responded, "How about $50?"
The man agreed and told her that the paint and brushes and everything she
would need were in the garage.
The man's wife, hearing the conversation, said to her husband, "Does she
realize that our porch goes ALL the way around the house?"
"That's a bit cynical, isn't it?" he responded.
The wife replied, "You're right. I guess I'm starting to believe all those
dumb blonde jokes."
A few hours later the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already??" the startled husband asked.
"Yes," the blonde replied, "and I even had paint left over so I gave it two
coats."
Impressed, the man reached into his pocket for the $50 and handed it to her
along with a $10 tip.
"Thank you," the blonde said, "And, by the way, it's not a Porch, it's a
Lexus."

WTF


lmao

Awesome