***Official Joke Thread***

Mr.Hollow

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doesn't make sense a all :huh:

btw, since when u have become an OG ninja???

a guy walks into a bar (u think bar as in alcoholic beverages/ but an actual metal bar) and says "ow"... cuz it hurt

-as for the OG ninja, it isn't related to 6ga, during high school there was a huge rivalry between ninjas and pirates in my graduating year. I was one of the founding ninjas who started the rivalry... + plus i have been a huge fan of ninjas since Naruto (which now sucks) back in 8th grade... *catches breath*:squintrun:
 

blacknight

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Hunting Trip

Jack and his buddies were discussing an upcoming hunting trip.
Unfortunately, Jack had to tell them that he couldn't go this time because
his wife wouldn't let him. After a lot of teasing and name calling, Jack
headed home, depressed.

Later on when Jack's buddies arrived at the hunting camp, they were shocked
to see Jack. He was already there with a cold beer in hand, burgers cooking
on the grille, gun cleaned and loaded, and a camp fire glowing.

"How did you talk your missus into letting you come, Jack?"

"I didn't have to," Jack replied.

"When I left you guys, I went home and slumped down in my chair with a brew
to drown my sorrows. Then Bernice snuck up behind me, covered my eyes, and
said, 'Surprise.'"

"When I peeled her hands back, she was standing there in a beautiful
see-through nightie and said, 'Carry me into the bedroom, tie me to the bed,
and you can do whatever you want!'"

"So, HERE I AM!"
 

ryan s

they dont think it
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be like it is
guy is waiting in the doctor's exam room for a checkup.

the doctor walks in and tells the man "sir, you have to stop masturbating"

the guy asks "what? why do i have to stop?"

the doctor replies "because i'm trying to give you an eye exam"

:lawl:
 

blacknight

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1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the ****s.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat , her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
 

blacknight

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A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand.

Two cowboys applied for the job. One was gay and the other a drunk.

She thought long and hard about it, and when no one else applied she decided to hire the gay guy, figuring it would be safer to have him around the house than the drunk.

He proved to be a hard worker who put in long hours every day and knew alot about ranching.

For weeks, the two of them worked, and the ranch was doing very well.

Then one day, the rancher's widow said to the hired hand, "You have done a really good job, and the ranch looks great. You should go into town and kick up your heels." The hired hand readily agreed and went into town one Saturday night.

One o'clock came, however, and he didn't return.

Two o'clock and no hired hand.

Finally he returned around two-thirty, and upon entering the room, he found the rancher's widow sitting by the fireplace with a glass of wine, waiting for him.

She quietly called him over to her.

"Unbutton my blouse and take it off," she said.

Trembling, he did as she directed. "Now take off my boots."

He did as she asked, ever so slowly. "Now take off my socks."

He removed each gently and placed them neatly by her boots.

"Now take off my skirt."

He slowly unbuttoned it, constantly watching her eyes in the fire light.

"Now take off my bra.." Again, with trembling hands, he did as he was told and dropped it to the floor.

Then she looked at him and said, "If you ever wear my clothes into town again, you're fired."
 

blacknight

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A guy walks into a sperm donor bank wearing a ski mask and holding a gun. He goes up to the nurse and demands her to open the sperm bank vault. She says "But sir, its just a sperm bank!", "I don't care, open it now!!!" he replies. So she opens the door to the vault and inside are all the sperm samples. The guy says "Take one of those sperm samples and drink it!", she looks at him "BUT, they are sperm samples???" , "DO IT!". So the nurse sucks it back. "That one there, drink that one as well.", so the nurse drinks that one as well. Finally after 4 samples the man takes off his ski mask and says, "See honey - its not that hard."
 

blacknight

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A farmer went out one day and bought a brand newstud rooster for his chicken coop. The new rooster struts over to the old rooster and says,

'OK old fart, Time for you to retire.'
The old rooster replies, 'Come on, surely you cannot handle ALL of these chickens. Look what it has done to me. Can't you just let me have the two old hens over in the corner?'

The young rooster says, 'Beat it: You are washed up and I am taking over.'

The old rooster says, 'I tell you what, young stud. I will race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets the exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop.'

The young rooster laughs. 'You know you don't stand a chance, old man. So, just to be fair, I will give you a head start.'

The old rooster takes off running. About 15 seconds later the young rooster takes off running after him.

They round the front porch of the farmhouse and the young rooster has closed the gap.nHe is only about 5 feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast!

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by.

The Old Rooster is squawking and running as hard as he can. The Farmer grabs his shotgun and - BOOM - He blows the young rooster to bits. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says,

'Dammit.......
Third gay rooster I bought this month.
 

blacknight

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Son (S) : Why is making love so enjoyable.
Father (F) : It is just like the sensation when you are digging your nose with your finger !!

S : Why do women enjoy sex more than man
F : It is because when you dig your nose, your nose feels more comfort than your finger.

S: Why do women hate it when they get raped .
F: It is like when you are walking on the street,someone else come over and dig your nose, do you like it ??

S: Why woman cannot have sex when they are having menstruation?
F: If your nose is bleeding, do you still dig it ??

S: Why man do not like to wear condoms when they are making love.
F: Do you like to dig your nose with a glove on your finger.

S: Why are making love carried out in private?
F: Will you dig you nose in front of your class? Stupid!

S: What is an orgasm ?
F:The same as sneezing. but the the other way round

S: Is it true that women love big ****s ?
F: Ever tried picking your nose with your thumb ?

S: What's anal sex?
F: Picking your mouth
 

blacknight

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One day Little Jerry heard a noise and peeked into his parents room to
check it out.
He opened the door to see his mom bent over the dresser and dad going at
it behind her. Jerry’s dad saw him and gave him a little wink as Jerry
closed the door.

After business was finished Dad went to check on little Jerry. He opened
his bedroom door to find Grandma (Dad's mother) bent over the dresser and little Jerry
going at it behind her like a champ.

Dad yelled, 'Jerry, what the hell are you doing?!'Little Jerry replied,
'It's not so funny when its your mom is it?!
 
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