02blkaccordcpe
Well-Known Member
The Final Countdown
A man comes home from work, sits down in his favorite chair, turns on the TV , and says to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She's puzzled but goes and gets him a beer anyway.
The guy quickly downs the beer and says, "Quick bring me another cold one. It's about to start." His wife huffs a little but still gets him another beer.
"One more before it starts!" the husband yells out after finishing off the second can.
"That's it!" his wife screams. "I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long. Then you waltz in here, flop your fat *** down, and expect me to run aound like your slave! If you think that's how it works, you've got another thing coming!"
"Damn," mutters the husband. "It started."
Good Mourning
A widow goes on her first date since her husband's death, and afterward the two end up back at her place. Once in the bedroom, she takes off everything but her black panties.
"You can touch me anywhere else," she says, "but down there I'm still mourning."
"I figured as much," says the man. He then prceeds to pull down his pants and put on a black condom. "If you don't mind, I'd like to offer my deepest condolences."
Freedom Fighter
A guy on trial for murder decides to brive a juror so he can escape the death penalty. He tells a blonde on the jury that he'll give her $10,000 if she pushes for manslaughter. She agrees.
Days later the jury finds him guilty of manslaughter, and he's taken to jail. There he uses his one call to ruing up the blonde juror.
"Thanks so much for saving me," he gushes.
"No problem. But it wasn't easy," the blonde replies. "Everyone else wanted to aquit you."
-some good jokes from October's Maxim
A man comes home from work, sits down in his favorite chair, turns on the TV , and says to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She's puzzled but goes and gets him a beer anyway.
The guy quickly downs the beer and says, "Quick bring me another cold one. It's about to start." His wife huffs a little but still gets him another beer.
"One more before it starts!" the husband yells out after finishing off the second can.
"That's it!" his wife screams. "I cook and clean and wash and iron all day long. Then you waltz in here, flop your fat *** down, and expect me to run aound like your slave! If you think that's how it works, you've got another thing coming!"
"Damn," mutters the husband. "It started."
Good Mourning
A widow goes on her first date since her husband's death, and afterward the two end up back at her place. Once in the bedroom, she takes off everything but her black panties.
"You can touch me anywhere else," she says, "but down there I'm still mourning."
"I figured as much," says the man. He then prceeds to pull down his pants and put on a black condom. "If you don't mind, I'd like to offer my deepest condolences."
Freedom Fighter
A guy on trial for murder decides to brive a juror so he can escape the death penalty. He tells a blonde on the jury that he'll give her $10,000 if she pushes for manslaughter. She agrees.
Days later the jury finds him guilty of manslaughter, and he's taken to jail. There he uses his one call to ruing up the blonde juror.
"Thanks so much for saving me," he gushes.
"No problem. But it wasn't easy," the blonde replies. "Everyone else wanted to aquit you."
-some good jokes from October's Maxim
LMAO-- that second one was the best I think
