klee
Well-Known Member
The bug:
A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his
womanizing when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's
penis off.
Angrily she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The
little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the
penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was
that?"
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual
at such a young age, the father replied, "It ...it was only a bug,
honey."
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment
said, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
The Talking Dog:
One day out in the Texas panhandle, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale"
He rings the bell. The owner answers and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black Lab just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift when I was pretty
young, and I wanted to help
the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me
jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years
running."
"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew wasn't getting any
younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security
work, mostly wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there
and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now...I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.
"Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that ****."
A man and a woman were driving down the road, arguing about his
womanizing when suddenly the woman reached over and sliced the man's
penis off.
Angrily she tossed it out the car window.
Driving behind the couple was a man and his 6-year-old daughter. The
little girl was chatting away at her father when all of a sudden the
penis smacked their car windshield, stuck for a moment, then flew off.
Surprised, the daughter asked her father, "Daddy, what the heck was
that?"
Shocked, but not wanting to expose his little girl to anything sexual
at such a young age, the father replied, "It ...it was only a bug,
honey."
The daughter sat with a confused look on her face, and after a moment
said, "Sure had a big dick, didn't it?"
The Talking Dog:
One day out in the Texas panhandle, a guy sees a sign in front of a house:
"Talking Dog for Sale"
He rings the bell. The owner answers and tells him the dog is in the
backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a black Lab just sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
"So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered this gift when I was pretty
young, and I wanted to help
the government, so I told the CIA about my gift, and in no time they had me
jetting from country to country,
sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog
would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies eight years
running."
"The jetting around really tired me out, and I knew wasn't getting any
younger and I wanted to settle down.
So I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security
work, mostly wandering near suspicious
characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings there
and was awarded a batch of medals.
Had a wife, a mess of puppies, and now...I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for
the dog.
"Ten dollars."
The guy says, "This dog is amazing. Why on earth are you selling him so
cheap?"
"Cause he's a liar. He didn't do any of that ****."
