funny internet writing

[pyaarawala]

lol

 

[00AccordLX5spd]

Please feel free to share other funny storys and whatnot.

I got this one in an email a few minutes ago:
> LIVING IN HELL
>
> One day a guy dies and finds himself in hell. As he is wallowing in
> despair, he has his first meeting with the devil...
>
> Satan: 'Why so glum?'
>
> Guy: 'What do you think? I'm in hell!'
>
> Satan: 'Hell's not so bad. We actually have a lot of fun down here. You
> a drinking man?'
>
> Guy: 'Sure, I love to drink.'
>
> Satan: 'Well, you're gonna love Mondays then. On Mondays, that's all we
> do is drink. Whiskey, tequila, Guinness, wine coolers, Tab, and Fresca.
> We drink 'til we throw up, and then we drink some more! And you don't
> have to worry about getting a hangover, be cause you're dead anyway.'
>
> Guy: 'Gee that sounds great!'
>
> Satan: 'You a smoker?'
>
> Guy: 'You better believe it'
>
> Satan: 'All right! You're gonna love Tuesdays We get the finest cigars
> from all over the world, and smoke our lungs out. If you get cancer -
> no biggie, you're already dead, remember? '
>
> Guy: 'Wow...that's awesome!'
>
> Satan: 'I bet you like to gamble.'
>
> Guy: 'Why, yes, as a matter of fact I do '
>
> Satan: 'Good, 'cause Wednesdays you can gamble all you want. Craps,
> blackjack, roulette, poker, slots, whatever. If you go bankrupt, it
> doesn't matter, you're dead anyhow.'
>
> Guy: 'Cool!'
>
> Satan: 'What about drugs?'
>
> Guy: 'Are you kidding? Love drugs! You don't mean...?'
>
> Satan: 'That's right! Thursday is drug day. Help yourself to a great big
> bowl of crack or smack. Smoke a doobie the size of a submarine. You can
> do all the drugs you want. You're dead so who cares.'
>
> Guy: 'Wow! I never realized Hell was such a cool place! '
>
> Satan: 'You gay?'
>
> Guy: 'No...'
>
> Satan: 'Oooo, Fridays are gonna be tough...

 

[ryan s]

duuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuude...virgin going straight for the pooper...she was freaky

and also at the hell story

 

[ccordex00]

This is funny as ****! This is a lesson for all those newbies....make sure u have absolutely no "issues" before u setup an encounter with ur girl!!! otherwise u'll be part of the next story!

 

[d1blet]

I liked how he described it as: "I had a mighty one which had been loaded into the gun for several days."

Pretty hard for most to topple that as the first time

 

[Sketch o5]

i was thinking at work if i had any funny sexual experience stories, haha, then i remembered this one, its kinda funny, haha, not as funny as that one tho. but im not sharing it with you guys, hahaha.

 

[hendizzlez]

@ the hell story & andy