In need of some advice...

[d1blet]

Not so sure where else I could really put this...but here goes
(Sorry...not exactly the shortest of stories)

So I've been with this girl now for 2 years and 8 months. For me, that's one hell of a long time considering that we're still in high school. And I mean she was so awesome - she overlooked my failures and embarassing moments. She was always so loving and always so commited. I've always felt the same towards her for the majority of the past 2 years and some odd months. Thing is, I was always a bit reserved since she has these seemingly delusional dreams of us being "together forever". We both applied to the same university - University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. She applied early and got accepted in October whereas I found out less then a week ago that I got accepted. Now her hopes and dreams of us being "together forever" aren't as far-fetched and I find myself in a difficult situation - to go along or to not go along. Seriously now, WTF. I'm her first BF and she's the third girl I've been with. There's no way in hell that I'm going to throw away my life in college just for her. I mean, of the three girls I've been with she's been the best of them. I mean she does have faults namely:

• She's not that much of a socialable girl and she's not very outgoing.
• We lack any sort of common interests - probably cause she doesn't have any except for playing the damn piano.
• She seems to have issues with making any sort of decision. Even questions over what to have for lunch always net the response "I dunno - you pick!"
• If you ask me, she's a bit obssessive and always in need of constant affection

For me, that's enough to let her go. I think you guys will agree - she ain't "the one". Kinda close but she's not. Maybe it was all puppy love or high school love or whatever BS it is. Thing is I don't want to completely ditch her. We don't belong "together" but I think we can be fine being good friends. So...here's my question.

Since I already more or less told her that I was dumping her by explaining the reasons I stated above, how can I repair the damage so that things don't get ugly? She was really broken after this, crying in my arms for literally an hour before I managed to take her home. I've still yet to call her, but that's what I'm going to do immediately after posting this. We see each other every day at school (we share a locker) so I can always get a feel of how she's feeling. What can I do to make it seem like that we can be like "best friends" after coming out of a 2.6 year long relationship?

 

[rwong410]

Nothing for you to do except to ride out the storm

 

[MikeyMike]

i think u pretty much made up ur mind




STAGE 5 Virgin CLINGER!!!!!!



IMO college is Sexfest, or at least was to me

 

[BPAccord]

leave contact to a minimum...jus check how shes doin for awhile....jus to make sure shes not stalkin u or anythin

 

[00AccordLX5spd]

College is a binge drinking, drug abusing orgy if you are sociable. College is where you get to go "experiment" and do all the bad sh** you have always wanted to do - just don't get caught. Then after it is over, you have to buckle down and get a real job and start being responsible. You should have calmed down a bit by senior year, then a girl like her may work for you. Her being highly unsociable will completely RUIN your college experience IMO. You won't make any friends, etc.. You did the right thing by breaking up with her IMO. As has been said, you need to just ride the storm out. She may never want to be your best friend. That's just the way it is. Give it time.

 

[BPAccord]

"it is better to have loved and lost...then to not love at all"

I have no idea who said that but i heard it somewhere

 

[DarkSideAccord]

glad u got accepted into a good school

as for her, she sounds like mah ex-gf clingy, not socialable, and not many common interest... i say let her go now, but keep in touch... like ppl always say, if u let her go and u end up together again down the road, then u guys are meant to be

 

[d1blet]

thanks guys

well, it's not exactly easy to keep contact to a minimium when we share a locker and run into each other at least 4 times a day in school. im afraid that if i just shrug her off she'll just go ballistic or something. i mean today, i was just kinda making sure that she wasn't too hung over so today was kinda like being normal with the exception of the lovey-dovey stuff. i still walked her to her classes and i still took her out for lunch (which didnt turn out how i wanted cuz some friends that were supposed to accompany us took off). i mean, i usually make lunch for the both of us (ran out of food today), so i dont see the point in stopping that.

i wanted to keep contact to a minimium but its really hard. i want to get the point across that we're not like that anymore, but that i'm cool with it as long as she is. so maybe i can kinda just let things slowly settle down? i think its unorthodox but it might work...

what should i do?

 

[MikeyMike]

as for her, she sounds like mah ex-gf clingy, not socialable, and not many common interest...

^^ sounds like you

 

[ccordex00]

Dude put it this way...stay in contact until u finish high school, you can have a good time, great time imo (couple months until u graduate, prom, and bla bla all that crap)...My personal case I live with my ex girlfriend, she cheated on me , really hard shi#$ at the beginning, painful and bla bla u know that crap but then I realized that sometimes is better to leave a good impression than being a jerk why?
1-you can always count on a good friend for....a)problems b)money c)sex not necessarily in that order
2-there's always a chance that your new gf (in college) will get in touch with your ex...especially if you're going to the same school (me and my ex go to the same school)...so you wanna keep a decent reputation...trust me, you'll get more fun if u have a good reputation
3-This is almost absolutely true....shi@#$ always come back in one way or another. Life goes around
So..in conclusion..use some psych, repair some damage, tell her that you were confused cause some weird family/personal stuff, apologize, go eat...and have a good time...while you can