***Official Joke Thread***

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by blacknight, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. blacknight

    blacknight Superman, uh mod

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    Guts - is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: 'Are you still cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?'

    Balls - is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: 'You're next.
     
  2. blacknight

    blacknight Superman, uh mod

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    A Mexican was promised a green card if he used the colours Green, Pink, and Yellow in the same sentance.

    " DAS EASY " he said
    " The phone rang... green-green, green-green, so I pink it up and I say Yellow
     
  3. blacknight

    blacknight Superman, uh mod

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    Definition of Fawked:

    When a man has a house payment, a car payment, a wife and a girlfriend and all four are a month late!
     
  4. Accord281

    Accord281 Well-Known Member

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    When Farrah Fawcett arrived at heaven, God granted her one wish. She wished for all the children of the world to be safe.












































    So God killed Michael Jackson.



    (received this as a text today)
     
  5. indowanksta88

    indowanksta88 Well-Known Member

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    ^ damn that is ****ed up lol
     
  6. juicebox00

    juicebox00 Well-Known Member

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    I was talking to my dad about headers on a 4cyl accord and he just goes

    "Wait, why would you put headers on a 4cyl engine, that's like putting whipped cream on dog poop."

    i busted out laughing because of the way he said it.
     
  7. SykVSyx

    SykVSyx Well-Known Member

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    v6 = win.
     
  8. blacknight

    blacknight Superman, uh mod

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    A chicken farmer went to a local bar.... Sat next
    > to a woman and ordered a glass of champagne.
    >
    > The woman perks up and says, 'How about that? I
    > just ordered a glass of champagne, too!'
    >
    > 'What a coincidence' the farmer says. 'This is a
    > special day for me.... I am celebrating'
    >
    > 'This is a special day for me too, I am also
    > celebrating!' says the woman.
    >
    > 'What a coincidence!' says the farmer! As they
    > clinked glasses the man asked, 'What are you
    > celebrating?'
    >
    > 'My husband and I have been trying to have a child
    > and today my gynecologist told me that I am
    > pregnant!'
    >
    > 'What a coincidence,' says the man.. 'I'm a chicken
    > farmer and for years all of my hens were infertile,
    > but today they are all laying fertilized eggs.'
    >
    > 'That's great!' says the woman. 'How did your
    > chickens become fertile?'
    >
    > 'I used a different c0ck' he replied.
    >
    > The woman smiled and said, 'What a coincidence
     
    Last edited: Jul 13, 2009
  9. CHID0

    CHID0 Well-Known Member

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    What's the difference between jelly and jam?




    I can't jelly my d!ck in your mom's mouth...
     
  10. Colorcode

    Colorcode Well-Known Member

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    ^^ oh snap!
     

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