***Official Joke Thread***

Discussion in 'General Chat' started by blacknight, Jun 16, 2009.

  1. Narftastic

    Narftastic Well-Known Member

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    :gtfo:

    please dont ever post in this thread ever again....
     
  2. uhhkilleez

    uhhkilleez Well-Known Member

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    A kindergarten teacher asks her class "What sound to pigs make?"

    Little Tyrone stands up and yells "Freeze muthufuka!"
     
  3. LeAccord

    LeAccord Well-Known Member

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    ftfy. :jae:
     
  4. uhhkilleez

    uhhkilleez Well-Known Member

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    Hahaha nice!





    Snooki no longer holds the record for most Jersey Shore guys blown in one day. Well done Hurricane Sandy.
     
  5. xci.ed6

    xci.ed6 Well-Known Member

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    :omgbd::rofl:


    What do you call a bunch of white guys sitting on a bench?


    The NBA






    Why do the Scottish wear kilts?



    Because sheep can hear a zipper from like a mile away.
     
  6. 20-CG5-01

    20-CG5-01 KanomNom

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    I'm gonna name my puppy Chuck Norris because Chuck Norris is a little bitch.
     
  7. 98ExAccordwv

    98ExAccordwv I'm Old

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    An elderly woman walked into the Royal Bank of Canada one morning with a purse full of money. She wanted to open a savings account and insisted on talking to the president of the Bank because, she said, she had a lot of money. After many lengthy discussions (after all, the client is always right) an employee took the elderly woman to the president's office. The president of the Bank asked her how much she wanted to deposit She placed her purse on his desk and replied, '$165,000'. The president was curious and asked her how she had been able to save so much money . The elderly woman replied that she made bets. The president was surprised and asked, 'What kind of bets?' The elderly woman replied, 'Well, I bet you $25,000 that your testicles are square.' The president started to laugh and told the woman that it was impossible to win a bet like that. The woman never batted an eye. She just looked at the president and said, 'Would you like to take my bet?' 'Certainly', replied the president. 'I bet you $25,000 that my testicles are not square.' 'Done', the elderly woman answered. 'But given the amount of money involved, if you don't mind I would like to come back at 10 ' clock tomorrow morning with my lawyer as a witness.' 'No problem', said the president of the Bank confidently.

    That night, the president became very nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of the mirror examining his testicles, turning them this way and that, checking them over again and again until he was positive that no one could consider his testicles as square and reassuring himself that there was no way he could lose the bet.

    The next morning at exactly 10 o'clock the elderly woman arrived at the president's office with her lawyer and acknowledged the $25,000 bet made the day before that the president's testicles were square. The president confirmed that the bet was the same as the one made the day before. Then the elderly woman asked him to drop his pants etc. so that she and her lawyer could see clearly. The president was happy to oblige. The elderly woman came closer so she could see better and asked the president if she could touch them. 'Of course', said the president. 'Given the amount of money involved, you should be 100% sure.' The elderly woman did so with a little smile.

    Suddenly the president noticed that the lawyer was banging his head against the wall. He asked the elderly woman why he was doing that and she replied, 'Oh, it's probably because I bet him $100,000 that around 10 o'clock in the morning I would be holding the balls of the President of the Royal Bank of Canada !'
     
  8. vtec2000

    vtec2000 Well-Known Member

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    Thats funny as fck.lol
     
  9. blacknight

    blacknight Superman, uh mod

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    Bobby says: Daddy, how was I born?

    DAD says: Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway!
    Well, you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN.
    Then I set up a date via e-mail with your mom and we met at a cyber-cafe.
    We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive.
    As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop-Up appeared and said:
    You've Got Male
     
  10. H-town_Ryda_06

    H-town_Ryda_06 Well-Known Member

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    Bahahahaha

    Just read through this entire thread. Its soo full of awesomeness :rofl:

    Thanks. Needed the laughs. :)
     

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